I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
