benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
