Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
