my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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