why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
