new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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