His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize