Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
