Kareoke will never be a sober sport
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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