so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
