have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
