Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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