BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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