is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
