at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Be still, my beating vagina.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize