why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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