i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
