Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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