So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
