Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
