I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
