Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
