threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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