3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
