I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
