If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize