I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
