i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
