we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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