look no pants
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
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