I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
