John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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