Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
