I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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