she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
