I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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