all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
