Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
