Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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