Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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