The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
