Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize