You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
