Well apparently he's into motor boating.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
