there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
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My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
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Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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