Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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