found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You can't just leave with hair like that
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
