Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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