No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
