You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
