My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
