I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
