I cannot find my penis.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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