but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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