I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
