hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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