I could have mohawked her pubes.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
