Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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