I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
