just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"