he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
