Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?