Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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