walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
