You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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