I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize