She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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