Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
