Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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